It's been a crazy few weeks.
Thanksgiving, moving, pregnancy, Christmas coming, (I $#/+ you not, I have not purchased the first Christmas gift) the baby coming anytime, trying to put everything, away being excited about new things, new floors, new paint.
I allow myself to get excited about things but it's weird the older that you get you know that while you're excited it's just a thing. No materialistic thing has ever brought me long term happiness.
Sometimes I miss the naive positivity of my early 20s.
"Once we do this, or once we get that, then we will be happy."
I was also going to be the perfect mom... and Im not. I have a temper and in the right mood a mouth like a sailor. (Ive read people who curse have lower stress levels so, Im not giving it up.)
Nope. Doesn't work that way.
I have a new baby coming (and I am so thrilled to meet him) but being a mother isn't new to me anymore either. It's odd to go into it already knowing how many (MANY) mistakes I will make. It's good and its bad. Its wisdom I guess, life experience I guess. Self acceptance perhaps. It just is part of growing up (yes, Im still trying to grow up at 31).
I post things that make me happy or make me laugh, or make me think on social media frequently to say the least.
Its my way of trying to harness the aspects of life that make it beautiful and fun for me. Its almost like a journal.
If I feel sad or down I can go back and look at cheerful moments . It makes me greatful which cultivates happiness in me.
But I guess the point of this babble today is, please dont think I have a perfect life, or that I think I have a perfect life. I have a good life. I am thankful for what we have but old enough to know that anything you physically possess you cant keep for ever and while fun in moment things never produce long lasting joy.
I like this Bible verse. It seems kind of depressing at first but maybe not. Maybe the idea that everything is passing can be a peaceful idea as well. It is for me.
I like the idea that all that we stress and toil over really just isnt that important. Its here, I can see it (things,thoughts, the physical realm) but its just happening. It will just continue to happen and I dont have to necessarily do anything about anything in some moments. Sometimes I can just be and watch the world keep doing what it does and take a deep breath and do like Mr. Lennon says "let it be".
Ecclesiates 1: 1-18
Everything Is Meaningless
1 The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:
2"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
3 What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?
4Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
7 All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
8 All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
11 There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.
Wisdom Is Meaningless
12 I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem.
13 I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men!
14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
15 What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted.
16 I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge."
17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly,but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.
18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
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