Its Thanksgiving Eve. Its a trend to talk about all that we are thankful for during this season. I think that is a great idea.
Lately I have been all wound up about the Syrian Refugee situation.
Why am I here in a warm house, writing my thoughts, working through my emotions feeling like that is really what is most important in the world right now when another mother is fighting for her child's life?
It is not fair!
I don't deserve this luxury anymore than she does.
My children are currently wrapped up in blankies with full bellies. They are watching their favorite cartoon for the 58954785 time. The youngest is dozing off and the oldest is coloring me a picture and singing to himself.
My children do not deserve life, safety or happiness any more than her babies.
I feel guilty, I feel spoiled, and mostly I feel ashamed of the things I have the nerve to complain about.
I have been so taken over by thoughts of these people that I do not know and really feeling like there is nothing that I can do.
What really am I going to do about it?
I'm not rich.
I'm not powerful.
I have two little ones of my own. I am 8.5 months pregnant. I'm not joining a mission to save the Syrian people when I am lucky enough to be in a seemingly safe enough situation of my own. I have the same desires that she does (the Syrian mother) to protect my children.
People say "pray for them".
Have you ever been on the other side of needing prayer?
I can remember some of my lowest times personally and it while it was kind of folks to say "Ill pray for you" and honestly the people who take that phrase to heart and really do pray are awesome. However sometimes "Ill pray for you." is just an empty blanket statement that is made when your situation sucks so bad that people don't know what to say to you anymore.
If you say you're going to pray for someone. Pray for them. If you are not going to pray for them. Let them know you see their pain. Sometimes people need to know that your heart truly hurts for theirs.
I have been so sadden by the lack of complete grief for the Syrian people. We compare them to our veterans or homeless like one life is greater than the other?
Life is life is life! We are to be compassionate to ALL LIFE not just the people who were born into our "blessed" situation. (Don't even get me started on the SEVERE misuse of the word blessed).
I see people post things all the time on social media that says something like "I am deleting all people who post negativity." , "Facebook is not a place to spill your dirty laundry.", "Social Media is not the place for politics and religion."
You know how you should use social media?
However your little heart pleases.
Wanna complain about your baby daddy?
Go for it!
Wanna spread the word that the Syrians are coming to ruin our nation and the President is evil?
Have at it!
Maybe social media is our last untainted news source.
Our last place to share free thinking with the masses.
Use it how you want.
Nobody is paying me to run my mouth all day about the things I believe in and I doubt you're getting paid either!
Other media sources are. The news is tainted by hidden agendas.
So say what you think I want to hear it even if, maybe even especially if I disagree with you because we need to talk.
My point is sometimes social media is ugly.
Much more importantly sometimes life is ugly.
It is just a part of this experience that is life.
There is good and there is bad and blocking out all the negativity is extremely tempting and sometimes it feels good but it doesn't make the bad go away. It isn't real. Just because you don't want to see the bad doesn't make it not exist.
This evening I got the urge to just think positive! Think about the good! Block out the bad!
What a temptation.
The more I thought about it the more it sunk in how really just "positive thinking" solves nothing the bad is still there were just ignoring it, which is really just kind of rude.
So if I cant go fix the world what can I do?
I can see you.
That's it sometimes.
I can see their pain. It makes my heart pump harder and tears flow through my eyes.
Maybe in some way we are all in different places learning different lessons for different reasons.
Maybe it is why in the Bible we see over and over again that the less fortunate are actually the ones that are actually blessed.
My children receive gifts for Christmas and they are happy but they will never feel the way that a child overseas feels when they receive a gift from a charity that if they had not they would have had nothing.
My children will never know that kind of appreciation or joy.
We have to dig for it.
That is the American burden. Digging for true gratefulness because we have so much it is a challenge.
I will bet that a child who loses their parents early in life hates to hear people complain about thanksgiving drama. What would they give to see their dads face one more time?
That unfair pain. Pain we wish we could take from someone makes them even more beautiful. Because they know something about love that we have not had to learn yet.
When I had miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage nothing tore me apart more. Now my children are my world. They are rare and they are precious and they are because they just are. All life is rare and precious but I got to wear these special goggles for a time that forced me to see just how precious.
It hurt and it was one of my greatest gifts.
Some pain, some darkness you cannot take away and maybe we were never meant to.
Maybe the mother in Syria smiles a smile that I know nothing about when she puts food in her child's mouth. Maybe warm blankets are like a winning lottery ticket. Maybe she knows a lot more about love than I could ever imagine.
I might never know that deep of love. I might never have to. But I see her and it makes my heart glad that maybe somehow in someway she has more than me.
We need to help each other. We need to do what we can. We should physically and monetarily give in the ways that we are able. We also have to realize that the darkness is here to stay. We cannot make it all go away. Maybe that darkness we hate so much has just as much purpose as the light so we can see it acknowledge it and know it doesn't make life any less worth living.
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