The Truth about Men --- Listen my Sons

A letter to my sons --- you are love.

“Men weren’t really the enemy — they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.” 
― Betty Friedan

I promise you, my little boys-- that you entered this world untouched, clean, innocent, and ever so fragile.

I was afraid then, at the time when you were born and for the weeks to follow that I might hurt you. Your tiny fingers. Your fragile existence.  I would sit for long periods and watch your chest rise and fall, then finally leave the room to get something done to find myself rushing back after 5 minutes had past to watch a little more. Monitoring your breathing always made me feel short of breath myself, on edge, always terrified you might just stop.

I always thought I would have a daughter. I have three sisters as you know and your mommy had very little to no experience in the wonderful world of little boys. I never watched a little boy play before all of you came into my life and I see how wonderful your are. Your natural inclination to balls, trucks, rough and tumble play, and chaos make your Mommy smile. I love you dearly my little men, so, so, dearly.

“We are turning against boys and forgetting a simple truth: that the energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal, decent males is responsible for much of what is right in the world.” 
― Christina Hoff Sommers

We live in this world, in this society that says boys are a certain way and girls are a certain way and sometimes we believe it. We fall into the stories that society tells us because in some ways they are true.

“But by far the worst thing we do to males — by making them feel they have to be hard — is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is.” 
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I was once told that the devil hides his ugliest lies in a sea of truth.

The truth is, you are a certain way.

It is true that you are strong, rough, loud, and active... like society says, but you are not insensitive.

 You my sweet babies are full, absolutely full of love, kindness, gentleness and understanding. I see it everyday, since the moment I held you in my arms, you my little boys radiate light and love.

“Usually males who are unable to make emotional connections, are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them.” 
― bell hooks

Mommy begs you to see the strength of a soft hearted man.

It is not easy to be emotional and compassionate in a world that tells you that you are not. Mommy sees men who treat women like objects rather than people and my heart feels anxiety, fear, and pain to think that you might ever think that this is how all men are to be, my sons, it is not true. It is not you. I know your hearts and I beg you to make it part of your life to know your heart as well. When we know and love our own hearts, we can better know and love the hearts of others. 

I am afraid of being your mother at times because I am a female and at times I worry that we are so different that I might not be able to speak the language you speak as men, maybe no matter what I say to you, you could be destined for a life removed from your own heart and emotions. 

And then, do you know what happens?

You my firstborn, with your long legs and masculine features, broadening shoulders say "I want Momma" and you my second son, curl up like a little ball in my lap, against my chest and lie your head on my shoulder and say "I love you mommy" and you my tiny mancub, cry tears of sheer joy "Ma Ma Ma"  at the sight of your Mommy when I pick you up from daycare. 

Everyday, every single day you show me your hearts. Those hearts are so full of love, and trust, and kindness, and compassion, and connection.

I know who you are,so try not to forget.

I am writing you this so you don't forget and if you ever do forget, then read this and remember your mother told you that you have a beautiful heart, and a breath taking soul, that you are made from love and I know that love is what you bring into the world. Don't you forget it, don't forget who you are, my little boys. My masculine offspring, you came here so powerfully and magnificently to spread the story of love, and its true because your Mommy wouldn't lie to you.