Calling all Dreamers, wake up.

“I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can’t help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something I have very rarely experienced. I am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year.” 

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights

Our society really romanticizes the dreamers. 

What is compelling about all this dreaming and not doing?

All these people, minds, lives, ideas, desires: frozen. 

Waiting for permission.

Permission from who?

No one will give you permission.

Let me say that one more time and let it hit you, if you're waiting for the "right time" in life to do anything for someone to give you the go ahead:

 NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU PERMISSION. 

I mean, I'm trying to in this moment, but I cant do it for you, and you cant do it for me.

We must give ourselves permission. 

You have to deem yourself worthy and give yourself permission to live. 

"I know so little of real life"

What?

This is real life and you know what you need to know. Its in you. 

We are "real life" and maybe you don't believe it now, but you have answers inside of you just dying to speak their truth. 

What does that mean?

Are you a "dreamer"?

Do you have thousands of ideas and thoughts that live purely in your head?

Would it be possible to make  any of them reality?

Do you believe that you can do, be, live the things you want to do; your dreams?

If no, why?

Like really why?

Can you write your dreams down, then write down all the reasons that your dreams are not possible and then write down possible solutions to the reasons they are not possible? 

Can you do that? 

Do it right now. 

Please. 

Do you really dream because you have big dreams, or to keep yourself "safe".

Chasing a dream is new. Its unknown. You might fail. Failing sucks. But failing is okay and its how we learn what to try next.

I say dreamers are afraid. 

I'm afraid all the time. 

Its okay to be afraid but feeling "stuck" or helpless or powerless in your own body and life doesn't feel very good. In fact it feels horrid and I whole heartily believe it is why we see depression and anxiety disorders sky rocketing. 

We don't feel safe with ourselves, with our minds, we feel like powerless creatures. 

Good news is, it ain't true. 

How can it be beautiful to live a life in your head that you could possibly bring to fruition but you don't?

You say you're a dreamer and like Lennon said you're not the only one, we're everywhere! 

A dream is in the mind and we are in the body, in flesh, in the world. 

How do we connect the dreams to the flesh so that they can "be". 

They can  "be". 

Is it very "safe" to live your entire life with a head full of dreams that you wish you could live but you're too afraid, too doubtful, too full of excuses.

Sounds dangerous to me, truly violent to yourself, to waste this life being too afraid to do the things you want to do.

If there are say actually legitimate reasons you cannot live or chase a certain idea or dream, are you certain that there is not another perspective in which you can look at the problem or your dream? 

Do you know how to change your paradigm?

I love imagination. I think dreaming is wonderful but I also find a life so bound by limitations that maybe are not what they seem to be really sad.

I think when we dream and use imagination to write or create art, or to pretend its beautiful, but when we get "stuck" dreaming about the life we wish we had... when we pretend our life, rather than live it???  Life becomes like a prison and scary place to be. 

Honestly, have you ever woke up got ready for work like you do everyday of your life. The same routine. Went to the same place, talked to the same people, ate the same food, got the kids dressed, rushed them along, lost your temper, looked in the mirror criticizing yourself, and thought:  What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

It isn't that any of these norms are wrong. I do them everyday myself, but can we change our thoughts about who we are and what we are doing? Even if the world seemingly appears to be staying largely the same way? 

I am learning and believe more deeply every day if we want to see real change then the place to start is our thoughts. It takes time to see our thoughts manifest into reality but we must start somewhere or stay stuck there in our heads with ugly nightmare dreams.

You are more.

More than a job. More than your body. More than your money. More than your responsibilities. More than your bills. More than your titles. More than your mistakes. More than your current situation. More than what someone said to you. More than this moment. 

I promise you are worthy. Just as worthy as anyone else. Don't believe less than that. Its heartbreaking and its not true.  

Dreams don't have to be skydiving, climbing mountains, being the CEO of some huge company, or looking like Gisele Bundchen. (shes really pretty tho)

Some of my most desired dreams are waking up and not fighting with my children, getting better at being a more organised person, having real intimate fun friendships, having a job that I love, perusing my artistic interest.

None of these desires are gonna change the world if I accomplish them, but they will change my world and I live in the same world as you, so perhaps if we all chase our humble little dreams we will make the world a better place.

I say live in reality with your dreams.

Dream big, live big. 

Reality is not always a fun, pretty or an easy place to be but it is truly reality and it is truly the only place we can be.

What can we bring into reality?

Maybe reality itself is a dream and if that is so, what can we bring into this dream of reality? 

I think our possibilities are endless. 

Hold Space like air ... my first ever guided meditation writing :-0

Hold space like air.

Close your eyes.

Find your comfortable seat.

Notice your breath.

Slow down.

Breathe in deeply.

Exhale Fully.

Fill up

Empty out.

Pay attention as you breathe in the air that is in the space all around you.

Pay attention as you exhale this air and your personal energy into the space that is all around you.

Let yourself notice the simplicity of the air as you breathe it in, as you breathe it out.

The air that you are breathing in and breathing out is not partial.

This air is not especially good; this air is not especially bad.

The air is just here, holding space.

This air is always here at your personal disposal.

This air is your constant support, your constant resource, your constant fuel.

This air holds you.

Feel the air that surrounds you now.

Feel how this air holds you entirely.

Feel how the air touches every portion of your external body.

Feel how the air enters your body filling the most sacred, delicate portions of your inside body.

Is the air warm?

Is the air cold?

Either way the air is air and it holds you in your entirety.

The air touches your every inch of exposed skin.

Feel the air and space around each of your toes.

From your little baby toe to your big toe.

Maybe you know you have a bossy toe.

Maybe you know your feet are callused.

Maybe you have painted toe nails.

Maybe the sensitive soles of your feet are dirty, cold, stinky or sweaty.

The air has no care for the condition of your feet it just surrounds them.

Feel the air move up your shins, the hard bones that connect from your ankles to your knee caps.

The air wraps around your lower legs and holds the soft yet strong muscles of your calf.

The air continues to move up your back thighs and around your upper legs to your front thighs.

This air is holding your legs.

From your toes all the way up to your hip joints.

This air is holding all of your muscles, your tendons, your veins, your blood, your bones, your dry skin, the hair that covers your pores skin.

The air is holding your entire lower body and it does not care where your legs or feet have been and the air does not care where your legs or feet are going.

The air just holds this space all around your lower extremities.

This air supports you everywhere you have been and everywhere you will go. Feel the air. Feel it support you.

The air rolls up your pelvis and all around your backside feel the air where the bones of your bottom meet the ground.

The air is holding you around your belly, where you feel your pants snug around your waist, around your most precious life giving organs. Feel the air on the soft flesh of your middle body now. The air moves up into your rib cage, your side body, the muscle that surrounds your spine, your chest, your collar bones, your strong shoulders.

This air holds your middle body here now. This air holds your every insecurity. This air holds the parts of your sacred body that have made you feel uncomfortable. This air has held your belly and your heart through every rapid heartbeat, every anxiety, and all the butter flies. This air has held your middle body when you felt heavy in your heart and in your stomach. This air has held you when you felt weakness. This air held you through every doubt, through every pain, and through each heartbreak. This air was there then. This air is here now, still holding this space to support you. Feel the air. Feel the space that it is holding for you.

Feel the consistency of the air through all of your inconsistencies.

This air is here now; it always has been it always will be.

Take a deep breath into the space that the air has held for you.

Take your next breath deep into your lungs and belly and hold it just an extra moment.

Feel the air appreciate is consistency and support. Appreciate the space that the air allows you.

Feel gratitude for this space.

The air rolls up your entire middle your back, your spine, each vertebra. The air has felt every slump of your shoulders every drop into your spine. The air has felt your heaviness.  The air has stayed every time you felt the weight of the world, the air has stayed through every emotion, and the air has literally had your back all this time.

Feel the air hold you up.

Sit up.

The air is here giving you the space to sit up, giving you the support.

SIT UP.

Breathe in deeply

Breath out fully until you feel the muscles of your middle body pushing the air out, every. last. drop. out.

Now breathe in deep and fill up with the space of the air.

 Fill up.

Acknowledge the air and how it fills you.

The air is now around your throat. The air has touched every word that you have ever spoken and every word that you hold inside.

And the air does not care about all that you have said wrong and the air does not care about all that you have said right. The air just gives you space to breathe it in and find your voice.

The air gives you voice.

Feel the airs support every time you speak.

The air is there for every word.

The air hugs into the space around your ears. The air fills the space around your ear lobes and deep into the canals of your ears, where you have heard every word, and every sound.

The air has been here with you every time you have listened and every time you have not.

The air has been with you when you heard the best news and the air has been with you when you heard the worst news. The air stays when you hear birds sing, when you hear the waves of the ocean crash into the beach, when you hear the crack of thunder during a summer storm. The air stays when you hear your favorite songs and you dance. The air has stayed when you heard a comforting voice and the air has stayed when you were alone and heard no voice but your own. The air was there when you were yelled at. The air was there when you heard a baby cry. The air was there when you heard that you lost someone. The air was there when your heard laughter fill a room. The air stays for all that you hear. Feel the air stay with you. Breathe the air in. It is staying with you.

The air is all around your head and around your eyes. Around the soft precious skin that covers your face, the wrinkles, the laugh lines, the sun spots, the freckles, the scars. The airs holds the space around your lips as they curve up and smile and the air holds the space around your brow when is tenses with anger, fear, or misunderstanding. The air allows the space for sorrow and happiness. Sadness and silliness. Work and play.

The air has been with you since the moment you were born and you felt it brand new on your skin and maybe you cried out because the new world was scary and the air heard you and held space for you to learn and grow. The air did not care that you were the newest person in the room. The air didn't care what you knew or did not know. The air just gave you the space to live. The air stays the same. The air remains neutral. The air continues to give us that same space. In this moment we are new. The moment is new. We have much to learn. The world is still scary because the moment is always new. The air keeps holding space for all things new.

Breathe it deep. Feel the space the air is holding for you now. Smile. Feel gratitude for this space, for this moment, for this new breath, for the space the air offers us to learn. Let the air hold this space and support you. There is nothing to accomplish nothing to achieve. In this brand new moment just breathe into the space that the air has been holding for you.

Hold space like air.

Dying in the dark.

As she lay in her bed.
Taking shallow labored breaths.
The corners of her mouth turned up.
Her eyes sparkled.
Her Face softened.
Her smile warm.

She thought to herself.

I have hurt many people.
I have lied.
I have been selfish.
I have made many miscalculations.
My life has been rampant with my own mistakes and misunderstandings.

I have induced so much pain on undeserving recipients.
I have taken my blessings for granted.

Substantial parts of my existence have been tainted by the darkness.
The darkness of others and the darkness I cultivated within myself.

I am close to the end.
I lay here alone.
I reflect on my being and I am not disappointed.
Not with myself, or with anyone else for that matter.

You see, life gave me just what I needed.

The shadows within myself and even the darkness imposed on me by others.

I have seen and come to know well the distinction of the dark and the light.

It has taken me every breath I have been granted to figure it out. I imagine that is why I was granted breath in the first place.

It takes us all every breath.

We get the time we need.

We are all given the opportunity. We are all invited to the occasion of life.

Our personal experiences and the experiences of others working simultaneously with one another.

All the work coming together to create the whole.

It is neither here nor there what our biographies look like stacked up against one another.

It is not a test, a game, or a competition.

Life is an offering from the powers that be to experience growth.

We cannot fail.

There are no winners.

But we do get to experience choice.

We can bloom or we can remain buds. It makes no difference, all parts of the flower are beautiful and in our own time we will receive the nurture and experiences, the light and the dark that we need to flourish.

For some of us the nudge simply comes from the darkness.

I am so thankful for my dear friend the dark. Darkness is the one who consistently held me, he never let me down, he was always waiting to hold me and point me back to the direction of the light.

Her breath stopped. Her thoughts stopped. Her fears stopped. Her body lay alone but she was not alone in the dark. She never had been.